The Beauty in A Hamburger

It was just a regular day at work and i was standing behind the counter working on the computer, when a thin, pasty-skinned older man walked in the door.  I said hello and asked him if he needed any help. He came up to the counter and stood there silently for a second.  Then he slowly leaned in close. A little too close....like "7th grade first kiss" close or "I'm about to rob you" close.  He quietly whispers, "Where is the In-N-Out Burger?" I almost started laughing. Not because it was funny but because he was so serious. Then when i told him that they had not opened yet but he could always go to Five Guys Burger next door, he made a sour face and said "No, i will wait for THEM to open."  

THEM? He was of course referring to the simple burger place with a simple name and a huge following.  I thought for a minute about how long i had toiled to pick a unique name for my salon.  Days and nights of thinking and thinking of something that would stand out.  What if i had just named it "In-N-Out Salon and Med Spa?"  Sounds terrible. But for this burger joint, the no-frills name just works. Sure we've seen the tabloid magazines with all the stars pulling into the drive-thrus in Hollywood after a late night of partying. Britney Spears, Brad Pitt and Miley Cyrus stuffing their faces with greasy meat patties. Sort of makes the place look cool and the burgers delicious.  I mean if the stars eat there, it MUST be the place to be.  I've only actually eaten at In-N-Out Burger one time during a trip to Los Angeles with friends.  It was good, not great, but worth trying at least once.

So i stood at the window and looked out across the street at the space where the brand spanking new In-N-Out Burger will be opening in Las Colinas.  The little worker bees moving quickly in the 100 degree weather to build this new attraction conveniently secured with a protective fence. Was the fence there to keep out vandals, crazy fans, or crazy vandals sent from Five Guys?  I'm sure they look out the window daily and cringe as they watch their competitors almost reaching completion. 

But one person I know for certain who is happy is the creepy, thin, pasty-skinned man. He along with the other cult In-N-Out Burger fanatics who are counting the days, hours, minutes & seconds, anxiously waiting for the opening so they can stand in lines for hours to eat a simple cheeseburger and fries. Well, at least he can stand to gain a few pounds....and get some sun.

~ Miss GlowGirl xoxo

Living In A Coupon Hell - Can we all get along in a discounted world?

Let’s face it! Simply stated, this big world is filled with a bunch of cheapskates looking for cheap crap. Yes that includes you and me and everyone you know and everyone they know. Didn’t you hate being in line at the grocery store stuck behind the person who had an endless box of crumpled coupons? “Seriously…., are you really wasting my time by searching for the 50 cent off coupon for Uncle Ben’s Instant Rice?” Long gone are the days of cutting coupons, grandma! Time to put the away the scissors and pull out your laptops!

With the invention of companies like groupon.com, livingsocial.com, savemore.com, dealster.com, yipit.com, deal on.com and mydailythread.com, the masses biggest dreams have finally come true. And all without the help of Oprah.  Now we live in a world where everything is essentially half off!  Yes, sometimes it’s a good deal:  Butter yellow teeth? (Get them whitened), Hairy sasquatch back? (Laser that ugly crap off)  Blind as a bat? (Get some new goggles). Then there’s the “questionable” deals:  Go on an exciting balloon ride (You may want to get life insurance first), Learn to sexy pole dance (You may want to join a gym first), Try some Indian food (You may want to bring some antacid & the restroom location first).

On the flip side of the coin, if you are a business that deals with not so sweet, demanding, confused or plain dumb consumers, you may want to start your own websites such as yourudeasshole.com, can’tyoureadthefineprint.com, or thecouponexpiredlastmonth.com or i’mgonnaputaguninmymouthandblowmybrainsout.com.  Kidding, of course.  As a business owner, it is difficult to deal with people in the “daily deals” world. If you see something you like, buy it.  But yet that is too simple for all the simpletons. Here are 5 steps to making your life AND ours easier.

1.  If you past at least 7th grade, you should be able to read the ENTIRE coupon from beginning to end.  Don’t call the business and ask them to explain the deal to you.  If we do, we will be forced to read it VERY slowly as if communicating with a Korean tourist or a partially deaf 90 year old man.  

2.  Don’t call the business to make an appointment, giggling and ask them if they’re tired of all the phone calls from the sales.  Yes, we are probably tired, angry & hungry and will say “yes” and hang up on you. Skip the small talk and get to the point quickly.  

3.  Don’t try to negotiate your own deal not listed on coupon.  I had a guy tell me on a laser hair removal deal that he wanted his nipples lasered. “Um sir, that wasn’t part of the laser deal.” To which he responded, “That’s dumb.”  No sir what’s dumb is your genetics and your hairy nipples. Go slap your mother for that.

4.  Research what you’re buying.  After all you do own a computer and we can’t do ALL the work for you.  What next? You will be asking us to come cook you dinner, do your kid’s homework and wipe your ass.  

5.  Be kind and nice. It’s amazing how rude people can be even after getting a fabulous deal. Sometimes we make exceptions for nice people if the mistake was on their end.  When they're disrespectful or combative, we make things worse, on purpose. I guarantee you will get more discounts & smiles from the business if you DON'T act like a spoiled, entitled 7 year old brat with a runny nose.

~ Miss GlowGirl xoxo

Getting Old Sucks!

Yes. Getting old sucks. Since i work in the crazy billion dollar beauty industry, i have seen and heard just about everything beauty related.  Women are annoyingly vain. Shocker! We are obsessed with our looks from head to toe and try everything humanly possible to hold on to our youth as we age like old smelly cheese.  Wait a second….”Youth”? Are you kidding me? My youth was filled with a unibrow, a matching moustache and bad permed hair. No boys even looked twice in my direction. I’m not trying to hold on to THAT for god’s sake.  Ok fine I wasn’t the norm and neither was my lovely twin sister.  It was just double the ugliness at the time. Most women, however, do longingly look back into their past…daydreaming of time when they had great, flawless skin, beautiful, thick hair and skinny, toned bodies. (Snap fingers!) Wake up to reality ladies.  Now, however, most see bad, splotchy skin covered with way too much concealer & foundation.  The hair on their heads is now thinning, falling off in clumps in the shower and mysteriously re-appearing above the lip and under the chin like a bad Asian foo man chu. This new “she-beard” just compliments the brand spanking new set of sagging jowels which, in turn, compliments an advanced form of a double-muffin top accented by a pair of swollen cankles. I could go on and on but i think i just may start offending someone.


I was recently very honest with this 75 year old woman who came into the salon and wanted me to suggest a good creme for her heavy wrinkles.  I handed her a brown paper bag, told her to put on her head and save her money for a fancy casket. Ok I didn’t really say that BUT i did tell her that her options were very limited.  In her case, she definitely needed to go under the knife. I honestly didn’t feel like duping someone’s grandma into buying a $60 so called “miracle in a jar” when i knew it would do nothing for her but make her arthritic hands tired from rubbing it on pointlessly at night.


So what do we do?  What are our options? But alas, here is where women reach the critical crossroad…..turn right and do nothing dramatic.  Age gracefully like what a grandma should: glasses, gobble neck, saggy boobs, smelling like a mixture of playdoh and pie.  Or turn left and turn into a scary, stretched out, injected up, genetically engineered clone-grandma with a permanent pouty smile.  A version that definitely keeps the plastic surgeons pockets full and a young 20 something on THEIR arms. There has to be a happy medium, right? 


Model Paulina Porizkova quoted a French proverb that says “old age is revenge of the ugly ones.” Give me a break.  Anyone who believes that was probably too obsessed with their looks, had a bad personality and are now upset because no one is noticing them anymore.  Here’s a tissue lady. Have a good cry then get over it.  How about you try now being noticed for your heart or your mind?  Or, even better,  your kindness to others.  Quit looking in the mirror.  It’s like opening the fridge over & over again looking for food to mysteriously appear.  In your case, you’re looking for something to mysteriously disappear and it’s not happening, sister.  Embrace your age and try to look fabulous no matter if you’re 25 or 60. Your family and friends will love you unconditionally no matter what you look like…..  

~ Miss GlowGirl xoxo